Kyle “Bam Bam ” Sham

SA Gold Medal, MMA

SA Silver Medal, MMA

SA Bronze Medal, MMA

Coached 2 x SA champs in MMA, and multiple podium medalists.

Why do you train?

I’ve always loved sports, been my passion since forever.

It’s a form of meditation for me, of relieving stress. I love being able to do things with my body.

Being strong and healthy and fit has always been important to me. To exude strength. To be capable of taking on whatever life throws at me.

That’s the way to get the best results. If I’m slap and lacking in energy, and something comes up that I want to get done, I’m not going to have the energy and the willingness and drive.

I use training to sharpen all of those things. Sharpen my mind, sharpen my spirit. Sharpen my resolve.

Why do you compete?

I’ve always been a good sportsman. I’ve always been competitive. Maybe it’s because I’m the last born.

To test myself, to hone myself. It really narrows your focus.

What I find is that yes I do love training, I love building on something. But then when I’m training for a competition, it gives me an extra bit of juice, of focus, of will. It feels great.

I want to see where I am at when I’m at 100% of my best ability, and that's what competing does for me.

Aren't you scared because you compete?

It happens, the nerves are real. But it’s not scared. Nervous energy is a good word. Excitement, definitely. Maybe the first couple of bouts I was scared, maybe because we all fear the unknown.

That lesson transcended sport. I say to clients before their first fight “you’re going to walk in a certain person and walk out a completely different person.”

Why?

Because there is this huge obstacle in the way.

It’s a giant mirror. It’s going to reflect to you all of the self-limiting beliefs you have about yourself, all these doubts, all these fears. They’re going to creep up to you.

And you’re going to get to this point where you ask yourself “can I really do this?”

If you have the right team, the right people around you, you’re going to do it. You’re going to walk through it.

Then you’re going to realise I can actually do this, everything is telling me NO and you walk through that fire and you come out a different person.

It’s transformative. I have the courage now to face the unknown.

That transformation happened in the ring, and now I put it everywhere else.

Because if you overcame that challenge, when you step in the ring or cage with a guy whose going to try knock your block off, when you’ve faced that, what’s that business call going to be like?

Why do you train others?

I love sport. How transformative it is. How it builds a person’s character and resolve. Teamwork. Dedication. Commitment.

Things like, if you’re born pretty or not, over the years that’s gotten less important for me. Because it’s something you haven’t earned.

I look at people to see what they’ve earned. I value that over everything because you don’t get shit given to you.

That’s what sport teaches you, that you can work and earn things.

I love seeing people's development. It’s in my nature to help people be their best selves.

I like seeing people progress.

I love the sport, and I like teaching it. I want my love of the sport to transfer to others. I see the love for the sport growing all the time.

What do you give your clients?

I give them professionalism. I’m as professional as I can be. The way that I dress, the way I interact. They’re going to know I’m 100% focused on them and committed to them and their growth.

I’m 100% invested in them.

They’re going to get passion. I don’t think you can buy that.

Professionalism. Passion. Commitment. I’ll always put in at least as much commitment as you do. My clients love coming, I never have a problem with commitment.

How do you build up that commitment?

The first month or two months is about finding what makes you tick, why you’re training.

If you want to lose weight for a wedding, and I’m trying to teach them how to throw a perfect cross, it’s not going to work.

Your values and what I’m trying to teach them are not in sync.

It’s about finding what’s going to keep you committed for right now. Short term goals help A LOT for that.

People step in with short term stuff in mind, which is fine. Maybe you haven’t discovered what their long term motivation is yet.

Over time, it changes into long term things like resilience.

You see over three or five or six months, the more committed you are, the better you are getting. The better you are getting, the more it’s influencing your outside life.

And your own inner life.

If you stay committed, you feel good inside. Keeping the promises to yourself.

Confidence comes from when able to keep your promise to yourself. The clients feel that.

For me it’s about giving you a mirror. The more you are committed, the more you are getting better, the more you want to.

It’s not even having to chase the clients. They WANT to. I have to tell them to stop so they don’t overdo it.

How does this affect the rest of their lives?

Your relationships get much better. You actually show up. Because you can honour their commitments to yourself, you can honour your commitments to others. You have that confidence, so you show up for others.

You’re able to speak up more, to speak your thoughts. You’re not hiding away, you’re able to express it.

You find a sense of community, a sense of belonging.

That’s such a relief. Not feeling like you belong is terrible. Once you feel like you belong you feel happier, you feel more content. It’s a fundamental human need.

What defines the community you are building?

Respect, number one. As soon as a person steps in, there is a sense of respect. It’s not spoken, it’s kind of just known. Respect is paramount,

When someone crosses the line, which does happen, they know “we don’t do that there,”

It comes from the drills, if you’re missing your team mate on purpose, it’s like “Why? Don't you respect him enough that you think he can’t handle it? You think he’s a big f^$%ng pussy that he can’t handle a light slap with 300g of padding?”

You’re holding them back if you’re not testing them.

I’m not saying if you’re a pro and they’re a beginner, you must do everything you can to show how good you are. No.

What I’m expecting you to do is NOT TO give your partner a false sense of security by holding back and missing deliberately. That’s lying.

We are all there to build each other, pushing each other tooth and nail. Because when you look back, all those inches that you took, it’s like WOW.

Sometimes you’re the nail, you keep failing for a long time.

But then someone new walks in, and you’re the hammer.

What happens when a client goes through this process?

Building the will to NOT quit needs to build in them. Whether it’s waking up early, doing a drill, coming to sessions, reading, studying, whatever. They’ve got to build that in them, that they’re gonna do what they say they’re gonna do

The willingness to take on the challenge. If a guy feels overwhelmed by another guy, he’s going to not shy away. And the more you confront it, the more you are willing to confront it.

“Maybe I lost, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought.” Or “Oh, I actually landed.”

“Oh right, if I take on my challenges, I might fail. But failing isn’t really failing. It’s learning.”

Then your are more willing to accept the next challenge. You’re not scared of challenge.

You’ve programmed yourself to NOT run away from challenge.

How hard do you push your clients?

At the start, I really don